"A Little Priest" is a song in the 2007 feature film Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. It is sung by both Mrs. Lovett and Todd telling about what they are going to do to the bodies of Todd's customers.
Summary[]
Lyrics[]
Lovett: (spoken) That's all very well, but what we gonna do about him?
Todd: (spoken) Later on when it's dark, we'll take it to some secret place and bury him
Lovett:
(spoken) Oh yeah. Of course we could do that
I don't 'spose he's got any relatives gonna come pokin' 'round lookin' for him
Seems a downright shame...
Todd:(spoken) Shame?
Lovett:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift
Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it...
Todd: Ah!
Lovett:
Good, you got it!
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!
(simultaneously)
Todd: Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
Lovett: Well, it does seem a waste...
Todd:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!
Lovett: Think about it...
Todd:
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
Lovett:
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave
Won't they?
Think of all them
Pies!
Todd:
How choice!
How rare!
For what's the sound of the world out there?
Lovett:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
Todd: Those crunching noises pervading the air!
Lovett:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
Todd: It's man devouring man, my dear!
Both: And/Then who are we to deny it in here?
Todd:
(spoken) These are desperate times
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!
Lovett: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
Todd: What is that?
Lovett: It's priest. Have a little priest
Todd: Is it really good?
Lovett:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
Todd: Awful lot of fat
Lovett: Only where it sat
Todd: Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
Lovett:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
Lawyer's rather nice
Todd: If it's for a price
Lovett:
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice!
Todd: Anything that's lean?
Lovett:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
Todd: Is that squire, on the fire?
Lovett:
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer!
Todd:
Looks thicker
More like vicar!
Lovett:
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!
Todd: The history of the world, my love --
Lovett:
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors!
Todd: Is those below serving those up above!
Lovett:
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors!
Todd: How gratifying for once to know
Both: That those above will serve those down below!
Todd: What is that?
Lovett:
It's fop
Finest in the shop
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one!
Todd:
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
Lovett:
Try the friar
Fried, it's drier!
Todd:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
Lovett:
Then actor
It's compacter!
Todd:
Ah but always arrives overdone!
(spoken)
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!
Todd: Have charity towards the world, my pet!
Lovett: Yes, yes, I know, my love!
Todd: We'll take the customers that we can get!
Lovett: High-born and low, my love!
Todd:
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone
Both:
And to anyone
At all!
Gallery[]
Videos[]
Trivia[]
- Music theater historian Amy Asch describes the song "delicious", quoting "The driving waltz, the characters’ delight in their scheme, the endlessly inventive lyric, and the listener’s eager anticipation for the next joke give the scene tremendous energy. And I have never thought of shepherd’s pie the same way again."[1]