"A Little Priest" is a song in the 2007 feature film Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. It is sung by both Mrs. Lovett and Todd telling about what they are going to do to the bodies of Todd's customers.
Summary[]
Lyrics[]
Lovett: (spoken) That's all very well, but what we gonna do about him?
Todd: (spoken) Later on when it's dark, we'll take it to some secret place and bury him
Lovett:
(spoken) Oh yeah. Of course we could do that
I don't 'spose he's got any relatives gonna come pokin' 'round lookin' for him
Seems a downright shame...
Todd:(spoken) Shame?
Lovett:
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift
Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it...
Todd: Ah!
Lovett:
Good, you got it!
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!
(simultaneously)
Todd: Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
Lovett: Well, it does seem a waste...
Todd:
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!
Lovett: Think about it...
Todd:
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
Lovett:
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave
Won't they?
Think of all them
Pies!
Todd:
How choice!
How rare!
For what's the sound of the world out there?
Lovett:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
Todd: Those crunching noises pervading the air!
Lovett:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
Todd: It's man devouring man, my dear!
Both: And/Then who are we to deny it in here?
Todd:
(spoken) These are desperate times
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!
Lovett: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
Todd: What is that?
Lovett: It's priest. Have a little priest
Todd: Is it really good?
Lovett:
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
Todd: Awful lot of fat
Lovett: Only where it sat
Todd: Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
Lovett:
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
Lawyer's rather nice
Todd: If it's for a price
Lovett:
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice!
Todd: Anything that's lean?
Lovett:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
Todd: Is that squire, on the fire?
Lovett:
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer!
Todd:
Looks thicker
More like vicar!
Lovett:
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!
Todd: The history of the world, my love --
Lovett:
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors!
Todd: Is those below serving those up above!
Lovett:
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors!
Todd: How gratifying for once to know
Both: That those above will serve those down below!
Todd: What is that?
Lovett:
It's fop
Finest in the shop
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one!
Todd:
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
Lovett:
Try the friar
Fried, it's drier!
Todd:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
Lovett:
Then actor
It's compacter!
Todd:
Ah but always arrives overdone!
(spoken)
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!
Todd: Have charity towards the world, my pet!
Lovett: Yes, yes, I know, my love!
Todd: We'll take the customers that we can get!
Lovett: High-born and low, my love!
Todd:
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone
Both:
And to anyone
At all!
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