"The Worst Pies in London" is a song from the 2007 feature film Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. It is sung by Mrs. Lovett when Sweeney Todd first arrives in her pie shop.
Summary[]
Lyrics[]
(spoken) A customer!
Wait!
What’s your rush?
What’s your hurry?
You gave me such a...
Fright!
I thought you was a ghost
Half a minute? Can’t you sit?
Sit you down, SIT!
All I meant is that I ’aven’t seen a customer for weeks
Did you come in for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me ’ead’s a lil’ vague
"What was that?"
But you think we had the plague
From the way that people
Keep avoidin’ --
"No, you don’t!"
Heaven knows I try, sir
But there’s no one comes in even to inhale
Right you are, so would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can hardly blame them
These are probably the worst pies in London
I know why nobody cares to take them
I should know
I make them
But good? No!
The worst pies in London
Even that's polite
The worst pies in London
If you doubt it, take a bite...
Is that just disgusting?
You’ll have to concede it
It’s nothing but crusting
Here, drink this, you’ll need it
The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the price of meat what it is
When you get it
Never thought I’d live to see the day
Men would think it was a treat
Finding poor animals
What are dying in the streets
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
Does her business but I notice somethin’ weird
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared
’Ave to hand it to her
What I calls enterprise
Poppin’ pussies into pies
Wouldn’t do in my shop
Just the thought of it’s enough to make you sick
And I’m tellin’ you them pussycats is quick
No denying times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London>
Only lard and nothin’ more
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it’s molting
And tastes like...
Well pity
A woman alone
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir
Times is hard
Times is hard!
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Trivia[]
- In the original Broadway version of the musical, the song was sung by actress Angela Lansbury.